It’s been quite a while since I have written for this
space. Sorry dear reader. It hasn’t been for a lack of things to write
about but it’s just been hard to find the words to write here.
But here’s a start:
I’ve never really been one to make New Year’s
resolutions. For most people it seems to
be a futile effort of having the best of intentions and then powerlessly
watching those intentions fade rapidly in the face of challenges to those
intentions. January 1 also seems like an
arbitrary point in time to start or stop something. Why would you wait until January 1st
to make a change in your life when you know on May 17th that you
need to make changes? And is there
really something to gain by hastily making up some goals so you have something
by January 1?
While I’m skeptical of the whole New Year’s resolution
thing, this year I decided to choose a word that I want to focus on for these
366 days. It’s something I’ve heard of
others doing and I love the simplicity and the power of this practice.
After much thought, prayer, and Pinterest quote reading, I
settled on the word brave. A word that I
hope by the end of the year I will more fully embody. A word that people might use to describe my
heart and my actions.
Sure, by many standards I have done brave things. There have
certainly been areas of my life where I would consider myself to be brave.
But in general brave is not a word I would use to describe
myself. There are so many really
important parts and aspects of my life in which I need to be brave. These are the areas of my life in which I desperately
want to be brave and to do the things that require really, really, hard work
and large doses of bravery.
Doing brave things is scary and just thinking about doing
them brings about much anxiety and fear in me.
I want people’s approval of the things I do and say. I’m afraid of sharing the truest things about
myself. I worry I will not have the support
I need and want from the people who have meant so much to me. I don’t know if I’ll be good enough or right
or even ok.
And these are the things that make being brave so hard and
yet so necessary.
Brené Brown says, “Owning our story and loving ourselves
through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” Over the past year I’ve discovered how true
this is as I’ve been figuring out my story and learning to confidently live
into it while loving myself!
But I’ve come to see just how much power and freedom there
is in my relationship with God that there is no real reason not to be
brave. There is no real reason to not
live fully as the person God created me to be without shame. There is no real reason to feel guilty for
the things I cannot do today or the things I cannot do ever. There is no real reason not to ask for the
things I need. There is no real reason
to not listen to that voice and those nudges that so firmly guide me. There is no real reason not to be vulnerable,
honest, and full of joy because of all God has done and will do in and through
me.
2015 was a year of discerning my next steps in life’s
journey and as 2016 progresses I am so excited to live more fully into what I
have learned about myself while continuing to take the next brave steps.
Here’s to a year of being brave!
