Last Friday when we were all in Antigua, we shared a very special worship service. Instead of a traditional sermon each of us would share our own testimony of how our time in El Salvador had affected us and our faith. After lunch we all spent 2 hours in personal reflection and writing to prepare our testimonies. Then we gathered together in the courtyard of out little hostel. The family who owns the hostel lit incense and helped us set up chairs and an altar. We squeezed in enough chair for us all to sit in a circle. With the blue sky above and beautiful plants, flowers, and vines around us it was a perfect setting for our worship service. Pastor Kristie set up the altar complete with bread and wine for communion. A wooden Jesus was nestled in the low branches of the small tree next to the table that served as the altar.
We settled into our chairs and we began the service. We joined together in songs and prayer. Then it came time to share our testimonies. One by one, each person shared his or her testimony as the Spirit moved him or her. Each person told something different, each of us took something different from what we had experienced. Some shared how their faith had been challenged, some shared how their faith had been strengthened by what we had experienced in El Salvador. Many talked about the love, faith, and strength of our Salvadoran friends- Pastor Matias, Pastor Martina, Trini, Jorge, Mari, Atilio, and of course all the kids. We also shared tears with each other- tears of sadness for the pain and suffering we learned about, tears of happiness for the miracles and joys we witnessed, tears of thanks to God for an opportunity to grow in faith, tears of frustration for the continuing injustices and suffering of the Salvadoran people, and tears of solidarity with those in our little circle and with our friends back in El Salvador.
It was so moving to hear how everyone had been affected by our time together in El Salvador. It was helpful for me to have time to reflect on my own experiences so far, but it was even more helpful to hear everyone else´s reflections. It was amazing to hear how much people learned and grew in such a short time. It was clear that God is truly powerful and when we let God guide our experiences, our faith and understanding can grow immensely.
Some told stories of moments that were significant for them. Some talked about the trip as a whole. Some built on previous experiences in El Salvador while others told of how El Salvador had affected them for the first time. Some talked about how this trip had ignited in them a passion to continue to work for justice and to help our Salvadoran friends. In every single testimony, one thing was clear: El Salvador and the incredible people here have a power to change and inspire people to work for a better world while strengthening faith.
I was struck by the resolve so many had to not be complacent in their faith or in their efforts to live as true Christians. As we sat listening to each other´s testimonies, I think many of us were thinking about what life would be like with we return to our ¨normal¨ lives. We were challenged to change by what we had seen, done, and learned in El Salvador, but how long would that last once we returned to our materialistic, comfortable, and busy lives at home? How quickly will we forget the stories and lives of our Salvadoran friends as we get lost in the entertainment of whatever is on the TV? How soon will we forget about the bugs, heat, bumpy roads, and the mud when we return to out clean, well-constructed, air-conditioned homes and churches? How can we continue to be changed and challenged in our faith? How can we continue to feel the passion for justice and peace we felt when learning about the injustices and violence of the past and present in El Salvador?
I´m not sure that anyone has a good answer to any of these questions. And the good news is that I still have a few more weeks to think about these questions. However, sharing our testimonies in that group gave me hope and reassurance for a number of reasons. Most importantly, I fully felt that I´m not the only one who has these sort of questions. Furthermore, I was reassured that I don´t have to change the world on my own. To be able to share these difficult questions and the burden of changing the world makes me feel (a little) better. Perhaps it is partly my introverted nature, but I often feel overwhelmed and helpless when I think about all the injustices in El Salvador (and in the whole world for that matter). I have always known that there are lots of great people who are passionate about justice and peace, but to have so many gathered in one place talking about faith and the issues of justice was powerful for me.
I was amazed at how honest and frank so many people were about their emotions and their faith journey during the trip. This is evidence of what an amazing group of people this was but it also speaks to the power of our shared experiences in El Salvador. Sharing trips on the ¨roads¨, sweating together, being hot and dirty together, and sharing tears really has the ability to bond a group of people like nothing else. I´m looking forward to sharing testimonies with another smaller group in a few weeks. It will be interesting to see how my own experience and reflections will have changed with a few more weeks of El Salvador.
