When I went skydiving a little more than a year ago I was
super excited about the whole thing, but I had doubts and was a little nervous
about the whole jumping-out-of-an-airplane thing.
On the ground I had doubts.
While we were waiting for our turn to go up in the plane, other
skydivers got in the plane and the plane took off and then a while later we saw
the plane overhead and little dots came out of the plane- people jumping out. A little frightening knowing that would be me
in a little bit. (And it certainly
didn’t help that a friend who was also going to jump shouted out in horror as
we realized what was happening overhead.)
When I was in that airplane flying up to 14,000 feet I had
doubts. And when that airplane door
opened and people started jumping out I had some really serious doubts. And as Woody (the skydiving instructor I was
strapped to) and I got closer to that open door I had some even more serious
doubts about what I was about to do.
But when I jumped out of that airplane (or more accurately,
when Woody jumped us out of that airplane) I had no doubts whatsoever. Once I was out of that airplane I didn’t
doubt if I wanted to skydive, I was committed to jumping out of that
airplane. And I had no doubt about what
I needed to do: exactly what Woody told me to do.
At any point leading up to my jumping out of the plan I could
have decided not to do it. I could have
turned my car around on the way to the skydiving center, I could have walked
out of the room we were in for the orientation, I could have left when we were
waiting for our turn, I could have taken off my harness, I could have detached
myself from Woody and refused to get out of the airplane. I could have done any of these things and
avoided the scariness of jumping out of the plane and it would have been ok
(embarrassing, but ok).
But once I jumped out of the plane, changing my mind would
have been disastrous. If I had decided
that I didn’t want to go skydiving and I had unconnected myself from Woody and
that parachute that was attached to us, it would not have ended pretty. But in reality changing my mind wasn’t even
an option at this point- I had put everything on the line.
All along I believed that I wanted to jump out of a plane
and go skydiving. But that belief didn’t
mean anything until I actually jumped out of the plane.
So the real question is: what does all this about jumping
out of a plane mean for my life?
It means what I believe doesn’t make a bit of a difference. The only thing that truly matters is what I
actually do. And it means doubts only
matter when I let them prevent me from doing something.
If I say believe something, but do nothing to prove it, does
it really make a difference what I believe?
No. I could have said a million time I wanted to go skydiving, I could
spent hours imagining and thinking about what it would have been like, but none
of that would have mattered. The only
thing that mattered was jumping out of that plane.
Being a Christian isn’t about believing something. Sure I believe something (I believe that
Jesus’ death on the cross redeems me from my sin, I believe Jesus has left us
with a mission to love God and love our neighbors, and I believe that God will
come to earth again some day and everything will be restored to the beauty and
perfection God intended for the earth), but really these beliefs I hold don’t
make a bit of a difference. The only
thing that matters is what I actually do.
The only thing that matters is if my beliefs become convictions through
my acting on my beliefs.
I need to put everything on the line. I need to be so fully committed to living as
a Christian that backing out isn’t even an option.
It’s hard to even imagine what this would look like. I haven’t seen very many people so committed
to living as a Christian that it would be disastrous to stop. The only real example I can think of is Jesus…
Here’s what gives me some hope: the scariest part of
skydiving was approaching that open door of the plane at 14,000 feet. As soon as I jumped all my doubts disappeared,
I had no regrets, and I had this reassurance that I was exactly where I was
supposed to be.
Until I make that jump to be so fully committed to living as
a Christian that backing out isn’t an option, I’m going to have a lot of doubts
about my faith and about what God is calling me to do. These doubts are ok to have, it’s human
nature to doubt. But the doubts only
matter if they stop me from taking action, if they stop me from living as a
Christian.
I just have to get to the point where I can jump.
I’d love to have some feedback on all this. Do you agree- in the end are actions really
all that matter? And have you or someone
you know approached that “open door at 14,000 feet” and made that “jump” to be
so fully committed to something (living as a Christian or something else in
life)? If so, how did you or that person you know get to and out
that “open door”?
