Do Beliefs Really Matter?

When I went skydiving a little more than a year ago I was super excited about the whole thing, but I had doubts and was a little nervous about the whole jumping-out-of-an-airplane thing.  

On the ground I had doubts.  While we were waiting for our turn to go up in the plane, other skydivers got in the plane and the plane took off and then a while later we saw the plane overhead and little dots came out of the plane- people jumping out.  A little frightening knowing that would be me in a little bit.  (And it certainly didn’t help that a friend who was also going to jump shouted out in horror as we realized what was happening overhead.)

When I was in that airplane flying up to 14,000 feet I had doubts.  And when that airplane door opened and people started jumping out I had some really serious doubts.  And as Woody (the skydiving instructor I was strapped to) and I got closer to that open door I had some even more serious doubts about what I was about to do.

But when I jumped out of that airplane (or more accurately, when Woody jumped us out of that airplane) I had no doubts whatsoever.  Once I was out of that airplane I didn’t doubt if I wanted to skydive, I was committed to jumping out of that airplane.  And I had no doubt about what I needed to do: exactly what Woody told me to do. 

At any point leading up to my jumping out of the plan I could have decided not to do it.  I could have turned my car around on the way to the skydiving center, I could have walked out of the room we were in for the orientation, I could have left when we were waiting for our turn, I could have taken off my harness, I could have detached myself from Woody and refused to get out of the airplane.  I could have done any of these things and avoided the scariness of jumping out of the plane and it would have been ok (embarrassing, but ok). 

But once I jumped out of the plane, changing my mind would have been disastrous.  If I had decided that I didn’t want to go skydiving and I had unconnected myself from Woody and that parachute that was attached to us, it would not have ended pretty.  But in reality changing my mind wasn’t even an option at this point- I had put everything on the line.

All along I believed that I wanted to jump out of a plane and go skydiving.  But that belief didn’t mean anything until I actually jumped out of the plane. 

So the real question is: what does all this about jumping out of a plane mean for my life? 

It means what I believe doesn’t make a bit of a difference.  The only thing that truly matters is what I actually do.  And it means doubts only matter when I let them prevent me from doing something.

If I say believe something, but do nothing to prove it, does it really make a difference what I believe?  No. I could have said a million time I wanted to go skydiving, I could spent hours imagining and thinking about what it would have been like, but none of that would have mattered.  The only thing that mattered was jumping out of that plane. 

Being a Christian isn’t about believing something.  Sure I believe something (I believe that Jesus’ death on the cross redeems me from my sin, I believe Jesus has left us with a mission to love God and love our neighbors, and I believe that God will come to earth again some day and everything will be restored to the beauty and perfection God intended for the earth), but really these beliefs I hold don’t make a bit of a difference.  The only thing that matters is what I actually do.  The only thing that matters is if my beliefs become convictions through my acting on my beliefs.

I need to put everything on the line.  I need to be so fully committed to living as a Christian that backing out isn’t even an option.

It’s hard to even imagine what this would look like.  I haven’t seen very many people so committed to living as a Christian that it would be disastrous to stop.  The only real example I can think of is Jesus…    

Here’s what gives me some hope: the scariest part of skydiving was approaching that open door of the plane at 14,000 feet.  As soon as I jumped all my doubts disappeared, I had no regrets, and I had this reassurance that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Until I make that jump to be so fully committed to living as a Christian that backing out isn’t an option, I’m going to have a lot of doubts about my faith and about what God is calling me to do.  These doubts are ok to have, it’s human nature to doubt.  But the doubts only matter if they stop me from taking action, if they stop me from living as a Christian.

I just have to get to the point where I can jump.

I’d love to have some feedback on all this.  Do you agree- in the end are actions really all that matter?  And have you or someone you know approached that “open door at 14,000 feet” and made that “jump” to be so fully committed to something (living as a Christian or something else in life)?  If so, how did you or that person you know get to and out that “open door”?

Living the Gospel

James Martin (a Jesuit priest, author, and all around brilliant man) posted a link on Facebook a while back to an article about a nun who had passed away.  His profound comment on the link he shared struck me:

Sister Anne Montgomery had “a lifetime of living the Gospel.” 

I really hope someone will say that about me when I die.

More importantly I hope I will live a life that will warrant someone saying that I spent a lifetime living the Gospel.  

There are a lot of standards you could use to measure the “success” of your life: how much money you make, how high up in the hierarchy of your company you move, how big your house is, how well your children grow up, how happy you are, how many books you publish, how well known or respected you are in your community, how many hours you spend volunteering, etc.

But this is the standard I want my life to be measured by: when I die, will someone be able to honestly say that I spent a lifetime living the Gospel?

I know I will never be able to live the Gospel perfectly.  I will fail again and again to love my neighbor as myself.  I will fail again and again to share God’s love through word and deed.  I will miss or ignore opportunities to care for people in need as Jesus instructed his followers to do.  I will never be able to love God and follow God's commands as God instructed God's followers to do.

But I pray that by the grace of God, God would give me the courage, the faith, and the strength to spend a lifetime living the Gospel.

Jumping Off Cliffs

A little bit ago I read a book called Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris.  The authors are teenagers and the book is written for teenagers, but the book has messages that can apply to anyone at any age.  The premise of the book is that our society has incredibly low expectations for teenagers, we see the teen years as years when teens have virtually no responsibilities and we expect our teens to accomplish very little.  In reality, however, teens are capable of doing incredible things and accomplishing far more than we expect.  God has given all people (including teens) gifts and talents and God expects us to use these gifts to do God’s work here on earth.

The lake, islands, and land surrounding my family’s cabin in northwestern Ontario were carved out by glaciers thousands of years ago, leaving some magnificent geographical forms including some cliffs.  My sister, cousins, friends, and I spent quite a few summer afternoons jumping off of cliffs near our cabin.  It’s nothing too extreme, but we sure had fun.

One day some years back, someone from my parent’s generation decided she wanted to jump off the cliffs with all the young people (this woman has given me permission to share this story, but I won’t reveal her identity).

We all went in the boat to the cliffs and as we usually did, we young people started climbing to the top of the cliffs and jumping into the water.  The woman knew she didn’t want to jump off the big cliff, so she made her way to the jumping off point of the smaller cliff.

She stood there at the top of the cliff for 5 minutes…10 minutes…15 minutes…  During this time we demonstrated how to properly jump by being sure to push off of the rock really hard.  We reassured her that we had all jumped dozens of times and we were all perfectly fine.  30 minutes…45 minutes passed… by this time we had all jumped numerous times and had just about had our fill of jumping and were about ready to go home.  Our tactics of polite encouragement and support had turned to frustration as we called out “Just jump already!!!”  There were numerous times when she started to jump off, but stopped herself before she actually jumped.  She got closer to the edge of the cliff looked down, said she was going to jump, backed up, got a bit of a walking start, stopped, looked over the cliff, backed up, started to go again, stopped, said she was going to jump…  (And the best part of this story is her husband was videotaping this entire episode, waiting for her to jump.  He didn’t want to stop recording for fear that she would finally decide to jump when he had stopped recording.  So somewhere there is a tape of a woman standing on a cliff for an hour.)

More than an hour passed, and then with little fanfare or announcement she jumped.  When she surfaced we all clapped for her and her accomplishment (and because we were glad we could finally return home).

How many of us have stood on a “cliff” terrified to jump off?  Who hasn’t been afraid to do something hard and big even when we knew we should (for a variety of reasons)?

I know I have often stood on a “cliff” feeling paralyzed to jump off. 

But life is all about jumping off those cliffs. 

I don’t know for sure how this woman felt after she jumped off that cliff, but I imagine she felt better after having jumped than she did standing at the top of the cliff.  Preparing to jump is often terrifying, but looking back we often realize that jumping off a “cliff” is one of the best things we ever did.

If you had told me four years ago that I’d be doing the work I’m doing now, I would have told you you were completely insane.  But in the past four years I have stepped out of my comfort zone, learned to do new, hard things, and risked failure and rejection.  I jumped off a lot of “cliffs.”

So why have I done these hard things?

It’s certainly not because I wanted fame or money.  It’s because I keep ending up in situations where I feel drawn to do these hard things.  God has presented me with opportunities to take on these challenges.  I’m not sure where I have gotten the courage to jump off these “cliffs”…this is a topic for another day…

Meanwhile there are still plenty of “cliffs” that I need to jump off, and I’m sure there are plenty of “cliffs” that you need to jump off, too. 

So on the count of “three” let’s all take a deep breath, get a running start, push off of the “cliff” and jump into the water below.

One…two…three…

I'm going to need a lot of Trust.

Some personal reflections on my most recent trip to El Salvador:

The first two or three times I was in El Salvador I found myself being challenged to understand new things, to think in new ways, and to grow in my faith.  My understanding and faith were challenged by all I learned and saw and heard and experienced.  And as difficult as it was to be challenged and to see and hear such horrible things as the atrocities of war and poverty, I loved it.  I love to wrestle with issues and to think about big issues of justice and theology.  I loved being challenged to grow in my faith.

This was my sixth time in El Salvador and I had seen and been to all the places we were going to.  I knew the history.  I knew the stories.  I had seen the poverty.  I had heard how difficult it is to live life in El Salvador.  It’s not that the stories and history of the Salvadoran people are any less amazing, it’s that these stories and the history I know have already moved me as much as it will ever move me (or at least that’s what I think is true). 

About halfway through our trip, I was getting a little bored and starting to get a little jealous with seeing my group members be moved by their experiences.  I was getting impatient with wanting the Spirit to move in me and through my experiences in El Salvador as had happened to me often before in El Salvador.

But then I felt the Spirit.  On our fifth day in El Salvador I had an experience to remind me that I shouldn’t doubt the Spirit’s presence and ability to move.

We went to visit a church that my church could potentially partner with.  The church is in a small community of about 40 families.  The poverty there is more than evident.  And gang violence is a significant problem in this community.  My heart ached for the people in this community as the pastor talked about the people he serves and the difficulties the people face and as we walked around the community.

Our group's Bible devotion for that evening was based on a passage from Luke 8.  It's a story about one of the times when Jesus and his disciples are in a boat going over to the other side of a lake.  They are all on the boat and Jesus has fallen asleep and a huge storm comes up on the lake and the wind was blowing and the waves were raging.  The disciples, in their usual fashion, freak out because they were afraid that the boat was going to sink.  They wake up Jesus.  Jesus calmed the waves and the raging waters.  The disciples were amazed at Jesus’ power to calm the storm.  Jesus responds to them asking them where their faith was.

One of the reflection questions for our devotion that evening was: what “raging waters” is Jesus calling you to go out onto?  In other words, what is Jesus asking me to step into with faith while trusting that Jesus will be with me and will protect me?

Back home there are very few raging waters.  Sure life presents challenges, but nothing compared to the raging waters in El Salvador.  

As I reflected on what my “raging waters” are, I realized that evening that God was calling me to join the raging waters of life in El Salvador, to walk with and along side the Salvadorans as they endure hardship, violence, poverty, broken families, and so much more. 

I don’t know if I’m called to enter the raging waters of the Salvadorans in that church we visited that day, but I do know that God is calling me to walk with, to accompany Salvadorans, to join them in their suffering and joys in a more direct way than I currently am.

And frankly, this call terrifies me.  I’m afraid of what it will mean for me and my life to accompany Salvadorans.  I don’t know what this will look like yet…It may mean bringing more groups down to El Salvador, forming a partnership between my church and a church in El Salvador, living in El Salvador.  I don’t know yet.

The one thing I do know is that it’s going to require a lot of trust.  Trust that God will bring me where I need to be when I need to be there.  Trust that God won’t let me take the wrong path if I seek his will for my life.  Trust that God will give me everything I need to fulfill this call.  Trust that God will give me the patience to wait for his full will to be revealed.  Trust that God will give me the courage to accept whatever he calls me to.  And trust that God will indeed be with me through whatever raging waters I am called to, just like Jesus was with his disciples through the raging waters of that storm.