On Being Impatient

The Christmas season brings a lot of waiting…waiting for the Christmas cookies to be done baking, waiting to open all the Christmas presents under the tree, waiting for the first big snowfall, waiting for Christmas vacation to start, waiting for the party guests to arrive, waiting for the big football game to start (and/or waiting for it to end), waiting to eat all the delicious food and the leftovers.

When I was a kid the anticipation of Christmas morning was often more than I could handle.  I remember one Christmas morning when the waiting was especially agonizing.  I remember waking up early and then having to wait and wait for my parents to wake up, go down stairs, and make sure everything was all set before my sister and I could go down and see what Santa had brought us.  My sister and I sat at the top of the stairs calling downstairs to my mom and dad to see if we could come down.  Time went by SO slowly.  Didn’t they understand that I wanted to open those presents?!?  Didn’t they know I had been waiting for weeks to see what Santa brought?!?  How could they make me wait one more minute to enjoy playing with all my new toys???

Then finally my parents called my sister and I, and we rushed down the stairs and went right to the Christmas tree. “Santa” left us a generous pile of toys to unwrap and play with.  And we began examining and opening all the presents.  There was no disappointment.  In fact, I received far more than I had asked for, I unwrapped much more than I expected.  Once all the presents were unwrapped I spent hours playing with those toys.  And the joy didn’t end that day.

It has been many years since I had such excitement for Christmas morning (in fact my parents are so much more eager than I am to open presents this morning), but my Christmas seasons still require a lot of waiting.  We do a lot of things to celebrate Christmas and a lot of those things require waiting, but the Christmas season, Advent, is really all about waiting and preparing for Jesus’ birth.  Advent also reminds me about that better world that we are waiting for, the world of justice and peace that will be when the Reign of God is present on earth.

Lately I’ve become very impatient and frustrated with waiting, specifically I’ve become frustrated with waiting for Jesus to return and establish a world of justice.   I mean, seriously, what is God waiting for?  God can do anything God wants to.  Why do we have to be stuck in this far less than perfect world for so long???

I’m tired of waiting for a world where 18,000 children don’t die everyday from hunger.  I’m tired of waiting for a world where one in four children in the US won’t live in poverty.  I’m tired of waiting for a world where everyone has access to the basics: food, water, sanitation, health care, education, and shelter.  I’m tired of waiting for a world where peace is the norm and war is a concept we only vaguely remember.  I’m tired of waiting for a world where people don’t destroy and overuse the natural resources.  I tired of seeing people and organizations working so hard to make a difference and bring about a better world while change comes so slowly if at all.

But there is so much that I don’t understand, so much that I cannot comprehend.

It’s kind of like that Christmas morning many years ago.  I didn’t understand why I had to wait; I couldn’t comprehend why something so seemingly simple could require so much time to get ready (did Santa leave a mess or WHAT?).  I still don’t know what my parents were doing down stairs to prepare for my sister and I to come down and open presents.  But my parents knew what they were doing.  And when the waiting was finally over, there was only joy and celebration.  Likewise, my human brain cannot understand why God doesn’t just establish the Reign of God on earth right now, but someday in the future there will be joy and celebration many times greater than any Christmas morning.

But that doesn’t make the waiting any easier to bear.

Here’s where Christmas can help.  The martyred archbishop of El Salvador, Oscar Romero, had this to say on Christmas day in 1977:

“With Christ, God has injected himself into history. With the birth of Christ, God’s reign is now inaugurated in human time. On this night, as every year for twenty centuries, we recall that God’s reign is now in this world and that Christ has inaugurated the fullness of time. His birth attests that God is now marching with us in history, that we do not go alone.

Humans long for peace, for justice, for a reign of divine law, for something holy, for what is far from earth’s realities. We can have such a hope, not because we ourselves are able to construct the realm of happiness that God’s holy words proclaim, but because the builder of a reign of justice, of love, and of peace is already in the midst of us.”

The Reign of God isn’t here yet, but it is.  The yearly celebration of Jesus’ birth reminds us that God once lived among us in human form and God continues to be present in each and every person.  God is waiting along with us, God understands the agony of our waiting, and so I must trust that God has a plan much greater than any plan I could ever understand.

And so I wait and watch and work.

Organized Chaos (i.e. my job)

I've been working at lot lately at Feed My Starving Children.  I've been able to pick up a lot of extra hours over the past couple of months which has been a blessing in a number of ways.  After working there for a little more than three months, I feel really good and comfortable with doing everything that is part of my position.  In my extra hours I have learned to do some extra things and I've learned more about the internal workings of FMSC.

Since I first started working at FMSC, it has been much more than just a job.  It has been a welcome source of income, but more than that it has been a way for me to live out my calling while helping to feed thousands of starving children around the world and helping thousands of volunteers make a significant difference in the world.  I have grown in a number of ways by working at FMSC, but perhaps the greatest way I have grown is in my ability to deal with organized chaos.  There are a number of factors that contribute to the organized chaos at my job- there's always something that threatens disorganize the organized chaos: extra large groups, young groups, old groups, volunteers with different abilities, loud volunteers, issues with the ingredients, overflowing toilets, a shortage of staff, and a variety of other situations.  But I love it.  I love not knowing what to expect.  I love being surprised.  I love trying to figure out how to keep things under control and running smoothly all while packing food to keep children alive around the world.    

Sure my job has presented some challenges- times and situations that have tested my patience and my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength.  

But through it all and perhaps because of these challenges I love my job…

...even at 7:00 am

...even at 10:00 pm

...even after working for 12 hours

...even when mopping, vacuuming, sweeping, doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, taking out the garbage, and doing laundry

...even when there are too many or not enough volunteers

...even when there's 50 million things to do (and this is pretty much all the time)

...even when I’m sweaty, hot, and half covered in chicken flavored powder

...even when the toilet overflows…twice in one night

Along with those challenges are the many joys- the little and big things that keep me going and inspire me. 

I love my job...
...especially when kids say things with wisdom far beyond their years
...especially when a volunteer says a moving prayer over the food they have packed
...especially when volunteers make generous donations
...especially when there are really cute little kids volunteering
...especially when I see volunteers who are so excited to come volunteer
...especially when we get to pray over a shipment of food before it leaves our warehouse
...especially when working with all my amazing, adept, and passionate co-workers
...especially when volunteers bring humor, fun, and enthusiasm with them
...especially when I have underestimated what is possible and God proves me wrong (yet again)
...especially after a volunteer session when we pack a lot of boxes of food
...especially when a volunteer takes the time to thank me or tells me that they had a great experience
...especially when I see that volunteers understand the injustice of hunger and are motivated to do something about it
...especially when I clearly see God’s hand working through the volunteers and staff
...especially when I see volunteers come in day after day to give of their time, energy, and resources to feed starving children

You are Beautiful

There was another piece of art in the Nature Unframed exhibit at the Morton Arboretum that really struck me.

Most of the pieces of art were in a centrally located area, so I walked around to see all of them.  This piece of art was, I think, the biggest.  You probably could have seen it from an airplane.

This is a wonderful message.  There are so many people out there who need to hear this message.  But I wasn’t terribly impressed by this piece of art.  It was just some really big letters- although still a good message.

I moved on to look at other art pieces.  And then later I rode my bike past this piece of art from a different route than I had walked past it.  At first I thought it might be a different piece of art because it was so different and striking.

From the other direction the letters were yellow- a beautiful bright, brilliant yellow. The first time I looked at this piece of art, I hadn’t given it enough of a chance- I dismissed the white letters as “nothing special” and hadn’t taken the time to look at it more deeply, to look at it from another perspective.

Sometimes we need to look at something from a different angle (figuratively or literally).  Sometimes we don’t see the beauty in something because we are looking at it the wrong way.  Or sometimes we don’t look at it long enough.  Or maybe we don’t look at it deeply enough.  Sometimes we dismiss people outright because we don’t take the time to look for the good in them or we just let any small fault override any potential good.  Sometimes a situation frustrates us because it seems all bad when we don’t take the time to look for the good.  Perhaps this is about thinking about the glass as being half full rather than half empty.  But in the end I think we all have to give everyone and everything in our lives a chance before we judge, a chance to see the good, a chance to see the beautiful.

Christmas List

Every kid loves making a Christmas list.  Kids love looking through catalogs and store flyers and picking out all the coolest toys.  Maybe they send the list to Santa or maybe they just put the list in their parents' trusted hands.  A Christmas list allows a child to dream, to dream about what he or she might receive and all the fun that will be had with those toys.  But perhaps the most exciting part about the whole Christmas list making extravaganza is waiting for Christmas morning to find out what wishes have been fulfilled.

I'm no longer a kid, but I still make a Christmas list.  The past few years I have struggled to write a Christmas list like I did when I was a child.  I have been blessed with everything I need and most of what I want.  I don't need more "stuff" to clutter my bedroom or my life.  And so I have started writing what we might call an alternative Christmas list.  My Christmas wish list consists of things I want for other people and for the world.

Here's my Christmas List:

1.  A world without hunger, a world where not a single child dies because he or she didn't have anything to eat
2.  Sustainable sources of income and access to credit for people living in poverty
3.  A world where all children have access to education and all people are literate
4.  Clean water for the more than 1 billion people who don't have access to clean water
5.  Meaningful work and dignity for people who are considered "unemployable" by many
6.  A world where people don't die from preventable and treatable diseases like malaria

Yes, I know my list is a little ambitious.  I'm not even sure Santa could pull off a list like this.  I know none of these things will be delivered under my Christmas tree this year, and I'm pretty sure that none of you reading have the resources to make my Christmas wishes come true.  But here's a more concrete list, which includes some possibilities on how to make my list a reality.

1.  A world without hunger: Donate to Feed My Starving Children or to Heifer International (Ducks, bees, or chicks would be nice)
2.  Income and access to credit: Purchase an animal through Heifer International (I really really want a llama) or purchase a gift card through Kiva that will allow me to give a loan to an entrepreneur in need of a microloan
3.  Education and literacy: Support the work Lutheran World Relief is doing to provide education or buy me a gift certificate for Better World Books
4.  Clean water: A gift card for Living Water International 
5.  Meaningful work and dignity: Purchase me a gift card for Goodwill
6.  An end of malaria deaths: Donate to the Lutheran Malaria Initiative.  This initiative is working to educate people about malaria while treating and preventing malaria in Africa.

So, that's my Christmas list.

I encourage you all to make your own alternative Christmas list.  It's a fun and meaningful experience- it will give you a chance to dream about what a wonderful place the world could be and you will have the opportunity to do some research and see if you can figure out some ways to start making your alternative Christmas list a reality.  If you do make an alternative Christmas list, let me know... I'll probably get you something off your list.

Applesauce

A month ago I got together with my grandma and we made and canned a whole bunch of applesauce.  My little cousin helped a little when he got home from school.

This was a 6-hour-applesauce-making extravaganza. 

Ingredients to make applesauce: apples, a little bit of sugar, and lots of work.

We had 2 bushels of apples.  

This is a HALF bushel

The apples all had to be washed.  Then we quartered the apples, cut out the core/stem area/seeds, cut the apple into smaller slices.  

All the "reject" pieces

These slices went into a pot with a little bit of water and then onto the stove where they cooked until they were mushy.  

Then the apples had to go through a food mill.  This is where the applesauce gets its pinkish color- the red peels of the apples don’t go through the food mill but the red gets ground out enough to give the applesauce a hint of pink.  

Then we added a little bit of sugar (about ¾ of a cup to 1 cup).  Then the hot applesauce went into the jars.  And then the jars went into the canner to be processed.  Then the jars came out to cool.  This whole process was repeated countless times and often multiple parts of this process were going on at once.

I think we ended up with 63 pints of applesauce. Here's just SOME of what we made.

Vision

A friend of mine posted a quote from Russell Simmons on Facebook some time ago.  It really struck me and so I put it into a document of the many things I come across that I want to remember or refer back to later.

Here’s what Russell Simmons said:

 “Now, that you have frozen your vision and are clear about it, tell the world what you are going to do. Once you share your vision with the world, you are stuck with it. Have the courage to let people expect you to make it happen. This is a good thing. Focus on that one vision and go to work to make it a reality. Then set the right goal for you. In the end, the overriding factor is whether or not you realize your dreams FOR you. Not the world. You.”

I agree with about 90 percent of what Russell Simmons says here.  Everyone should take the time to think about and formulate what vision each of us has for ourselves and the world.  And then we should tell the world about that vision.  That’s why I shared my dreams with all of you (and the whole world-wide-web), because I wanted to be “stuck” with my vision and my dreams, because I wanted to have the courage to make you all expect that I am going to make my dreams a reality (or at least some of my dreams).   I and all of us need to have that vision out in front of us and we need to focus on that and work to make it a reality.  In all this I concur with Russell Simmons.

Here’s where I disagree with Russell Simmons:

Yes, my vision and my dreams are for me.  My dreams are ways that I can fulfill my purpose here on earth.  I will find purpose, fulfillment, and happiness through striving for and reaching my goals and dreams.  BUT, in the end, the overriding factor is whether I realize my dreams for the world (not simply for myself).

Ashes

I went to the Morton Arboretum a couple of months ago.  I had a very lovely day.  I rode my bike around, went for a little hike to Big Rock (yes, that's quite the creative name but it is indeed pretty big), and enjoyed the beauty of all the trees.

"Big Rock"

The Morton Arboretum has an art exhibit, Nature Unframed, that “promises to be unlike any other exhibition you’ve seen before.”  And it’s true.  There are 11 pieces of contemporary art around the arboretum created on and around the trees.  Sometimes I enjoy a little contemporary art- I like trying to figure out what the artist was thinking when he or she created the piece.  I like the challenge of thinking about the deeper meaning of the art.  I’d say it’s worth going to see.  The exhibit runs through November 27^th in case you are interested in going to see it. 

There was this tree with its trunk and some branches covered with crocheted “lichen” patches to remind us of the interdependent relationships and the ties that bind us all together.

A tree wrapped in yellow cloth- the yellow draws our attention to this tree that recently died, reminding us not to take trees for granted.

And then there was this piece:

Charred dead trees in a place that is supposed to be preserving and protecting trees.  My immediate response was “Well, that’s ugly, really morbid, and completely un-optimistic.”  I was just about ready to stomp off in protest, but then I read the little sign about the piece of art.

And then I almost immediately liked the piece of art.  Yes, this charred wood does make us think about death, but it also reminds us of the cycle of life and death.  There are so many times when life has and will come from death.  Many times life is not possible without death. 

It made me think about Harry Potter and the phoenix, the phoenix that is reborn from ashes. 

And it made me think of a song that is one of my favorite songs right now.  The song is Rise by Shawn McDonald.  You can listen to it here:

Ashes signify something that has been destroyed, the end of something that no longer exists, the memory of what was.  Ashes remind us of our mortality (ashes to ashes, dust to dust…) and are often associated with mourning and grief. 

And yet ashes are signs of hope.  We must get rid of the old before the new can come. 

I think we all have experienced times when we might have felt a little like Job who sat in a pile of ashes after Satan took away Job’s wealth, children, and health in order to tempt Job to curse God.  Job suffered extreme grief and physical, emotion, and spiritual pain.  But, Job does rise from the ashes and he goes on to live a long and blessed life thanks to God’s blessing.  He didn’t get his children back, but he was blessed with 10 more children and plenty of grandchildren and great grandchildren.  He didn’t get his original wealth back but he was blessed with even more wealth.  The time of suffering Job endured was not erased, but he enjoyed many years of joy after he rose from the ashes.   

And likewise, each and every one of us can rise from any “ashes” in our own lives.  We won’t be able to get back whatever it was those ashes were before they were ashes, but we can live with confidence “cause he who is in me, is greater than I will ever be, and I will rise.”  We will rise as individuals, and perhaps more importantly, our world will rise out of the ashes.  Our world finds itself in some great trouble, but one day, we will rise out of these ashes.  One day there will be no more trouble, no more pain and suffering, no more injustice.